Capture Your Grief Day 6: Bella Luna

in

When I read the prompt for today, only one thing popped into my mind.

Last year, after we lost Carter, Brandon and I would go for drives a lot of the time. Sometimes it was in the afternoon, but a lot of times, it was at night. After a movie, before dinner, late at night when we should have been in bed....for some reason the drives just seemed to help. I remember we would just drive around, and if I asked strongly enough, I could feel Carter's spirit. I could almost feel him hugging me, with a slight pressure around my shoulders and against my cheek, like he had his little head pressed against my face.

There is no real point in telling you this story, but it just is nice to remember sometimes. 

One night, we drove up and parked by the lake. I remember thinking about when we were dating, how we used to drive up into the mountains to watch movies in the back of the Xterra. We were so young. Nothing major to worry about. Six years later, we were parking the car to cry over losing our first child. It's crazy how much can change in just a few years. 

I've always been a fan of the night, even though I'm afraid of the dark. I love to sit outside and look at the stars, and to watch the moon shine against people's eyes. But that specific night, when we parked by the lake, I remember being grateful that we live so close to the airport. Grateful that, at 10:00 at night, flights were still coming in, and those planes could remind me of our boy. Thankful that the light from the moon was reflecting off the planes, making them glimmer like stars against their blue-ish black backdrop.

The moon is proof that, even in the darkest of times, there is always a little light. Sometimes the light can be faint, but it is always there.