Ten things.

in
 
 

1. We spent the weekend in Logan with our families, and it was such a good time. My parents came down for the homecoming game, so we spent all day Saturday and Sunday morning with them and had a blast. We stayed at Brandon's parents' house though, so we were able to get in some good quality time with them too.
2. Brandon's side of the family threw me a baby shower on Friday and it was the greatest! We ate good food, played games, and they just showered our guy with love. He's such a lucky little guy to have so many people love him before they even know him!
3. My dad bought himself a foam finger to take to the game, and it was probably the highlight of that whole day. It made him so happy. And me.
4. We only have five weeks left until we get to meet our little man!! I keep having dreams about him and I just love him so much, it's overwhelming.
5. He gave us a little bit of a scare on Sunday, because I didn't feel him move all day as much as he normally does. Even after a diet coke, I didn't feel him. It wasn't until like 8:30 that night that I felt him wiggle, but even then it was slight. So we went to the doctor early Monday morning, just to be safe, and he looks just great! He must have just been having a chill day.
6. The other bright side, other than him being healthy and great, is that they did an ultrasound, so we got to see his sweet face. We haven't seen him since our 20 week appointment, so it was fun to see how much has developed. I think he looks so much like Brandon; they have the same nose and same lips. But I'm so excited to see him in real life so soon!
7. I gave my notice of resignation at work yesterday. For the most part, it's only people in the office that know for now. I gave them just under five weeks notice so they have plenty of time to replace me. It feels weird to think about not working, but then I remember how much of a struggle it has been to get out of bed every day this week and feel better about it.
8. If anybody from Boise is reading this and wants two tickets to Chris Young, we are selling ours. I decided that I don't want to risk going into labor so far from home, even though it was to see two of my favorite artists of all time (Cassadee Pope and Dan + Shay). And if anyone is going to the concert and wants to take a cardboard cutout of me to have Cassadee take a picture with, let me know.
9. We made these caramel apple nachos for the shower at my parents' house, and I can't stop thinking about them.
10. We're officially home from now until...who knows when. Our plans for the next four weekends consist of prepping for the baby and relaxing. It's going to be so weird to not have any major plans or have to drive anywhere...we're looking forward to it!

33 weeks.

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We're actually closing in on 34 weeks, but it has been a while since I posted last!  Life has been crazy busy lately, which we knew was going to happen. Starting the weekend we helped my brother move into his apartment, we had plans every single weekend until October 1st. Now we're two weddings and two baby showers down, and we only have six weeks until the little guy arrives. It's nuts, I tell you. Absolute nuts. 

My best friends threw me the cutest Classic Mickey themed shower two weekends ago (pictures to come) and it was so fun! We played games, ate some tasty snacks, and most importantly, had girl time and were able to talk without all the guys there! It really was so fun; they are the best! Then, this last Friday, my mom threw me a baby shower in Boise! Even though it wasn't really cold outside, it was sort of fall themed, with woodland animals and soup and caramel apples. It wasn't structured like a traditional shower, so we didn't play games, and it wasn't just for the ladies, which was a nice change! There were a few activities, like advice cards for me and Brandon, and well wishes for the babe, but mostly it was nice to sit and talk to people I hadn't seen for a while. It was nice to just be in Boise for a while and have family time, too. We had the shower, did some shopping, saw my brother and wife's new place, and just kind of relaxed. Adrian came home from Logan for the weekend too, so it was good to have the whole family together! 

This Friday, the Robbins side of the family is throwing me a shower! My parents are also coming to Logan on Friday, so we can go to the homecoming game on Saturday. It's going to be another busy weekend! But we are looking forward to more family time before we have to hole up for the winter. 

Nothing too exciting is happening pregnancy-wise. I have this upper back pain that sets in between noon and two every day and won't go away until I'm laying down, but thankfully Caroline got me this body pillow that I have just started carrying around the house with me when I'm home. All I want to eat lately is half-baked Ben and Jerry's, but I'm trying really hard to not eat only that. It's lame. Also, lately I just feel like a turtle stuck on its back; it's getting harder and harder to sit up on my own haha. People keep asking how I'm feeling, and honestly I'm feeling pretty good still! I've starting to panic a little bit when I think about how close we are getting to November 2nd, because how the heck am I supposed to take care of a baby? Who decided that trusting me with a kid was a good idea?! What if I'm a bad mom?!?!?!?!? But for now, I'll just let Ben and Jerry comfort me through my worries. And my giant pillow.

Single digits.

in

Today marks kind of a significant milestone, in my opinion anyway. We are at 31 weeks, which means we only have nine weeks left! Single digit number of weeks!! I just think that's so crazy.

A couple of noticeable changes within the last week or so. One, my upper back, like up between my shoulder blades, hurts if I sit for too long. It always starts around 2:00 in the afternoon or so, and the only way I can make it not hurt is by laying on the floor. It's annoying. Second, my appetite is starting to come back! I think I may have lost a little weight on vacation (on accident) and because of that, it seemed like I hadn't been gaining any weight since we got back from New York. Thankfully though, I weighed myself yesterday and the number has gone up (never thought I'd be thankful for that). And even better, I want to eat now! And I actually find myself wanting ice cream, the thought of it doesn't repulse me anymore, which is a huge bonus. We're on the home stretch! And so excited!! 

Last weekend we went to Idaho Falls for my cousin's wedding. It was such a great day, and I'm so happy for her and her new husband! He's really great, and the four of us get along so well, I'm excited for us to hang out all the time and travel together. It was a quick trip for a day full of wedding festivities, but it was really a great celebration. And it was nice to have time with family too. We got back from Idaho Falls Saturday afternoon, just in time to clean the house a little bit, then head downtown for dinner and Newsies with Brandon's family. I was so impressed with the play!

This weekend we are headed to Lake Tahoe to see my little brother get married!!! They are having the ceremony right on the beach, and it's just going to be beautiful. I really am so excited!! It will be a long drive (especially if I have to stop and go to the bathroom as much as I do at work), but so worth it. This will be weekend #2 of our crazy busy weekends, and we're looking forward to every second of it!

Update: First random craving of the whole pregnancy. You know the popcorn seasonings? One of the movie theaters in Boise has (or at least they used to) a whole slew of them, and I just want to go stand over them and inhale deeply. Brandon told me he would buy me a package so I can just lick it, but I swear I won't stoop that low. So gross. So random.

Poppin' Tums like candy.

in

Brandon laughs at me all the time because I have started calling Tums my special candy. But until I start eating other candy, that's what it's going to be called! Sometime around the middle of June, I started getting heartburn frequently. I had never really had heartburn before, so I had never taken Tums, and avoided them like the plague. That is until we were on the bus ride home from Mount Vernon and I had heartburn so bad I thought I was going to be sick. Now I love Tums like a pregnant lady loves...all the things. Don't even try and stop me.

Anyway, this week is going painfully yet blissfully slow so far. Our anniversary weekend was quite nice. We spent Friday night putting a recliner in the nursery, and just relaxing. Saturday we went shopping for some wedding gifts and baby things, then got our traditional Costa for lunch. After relaxing for a little bit, we rearranged the nursery and I am so happy with it. We only have two walls that we can put things on, but for some reason, swapping the crib and the dresser to opposite walls made a HUGE difference. I'm so pleased with it! Then we went to Hobby Lobby and spent waaaay too much time/money picking out pieces for baby boy's gallery wall. He's so spoiled already, I love it. And that night we got Little Caesar's and watched Angry Birds. We really know how to live.

Sunday we made the quick drive up to Logan and spent a couple hours with Brandon's family before meeting my parents and brother in town! Adrian is starting at Utah State next week, so we helped move him into his apartment, then showed him where all his classes will be this semester. It's so fun to think that he will be making memories in so many of the same places that I did. 

Last night was just really nice, because we both got home at the same time, had dinner not in front of the tv (which happens pretty frequently, but definitely not the majority of the time), got the house all clean, hung some pictures in the nursery, and then just hung out the rest of the night. It wasn't one of those nights where I felt like we were going to bed as soon as we got home, so it was great.

I'm looking forward to the rest of this week and the weekend, but mostly in hopes that we'll find plenty of time to relax and just hang out together!

 

Don't mind Milo. He thinks he is the baby.

 
 
 

Five years.

in

The older I get the faster time seems to go. I'm sure this is true for everyone, but I can't get over it. It seems like just yesterday I was this goofy little nineteen year old trying to casually flirt with my shift manager at the movie theater, and here we are, almost six years later, married for five years.

We've had a lot of fun lately thinking about all the things we have done/accomplished in our time together. We've lived in three different cities, had 14 different jobs between the two of us, have taken 14 trips together, bought two houses, adopted two cats, and now are just a little over 10 weeks away from meeting our first child. We always joked that we would be waiting seven to ten years before we started having kids, and even though that was definitely not true, it would have been so easy to continue spending time just the two of us. We have so much fun together regardless of what we're doing, and we've loved traveling, trying new things, and just exploring together. We don't intend to slow down once we have the baby, but I will always cherish these past five years that we've had to ourselves!

Onto the sappy stuff: 
I honestly couldn't have asked for a better person to hang out with for the rest of my life. He is smart, silly, hard working, adventurous, funny, sweet, and so many other things. I love how hard he works to make sure we never have to settle for anything, and I know that when it comes to providing for our family, he will never let us down. I love how he is always willing to do things for others. I love that he never complains when I ask him to help fold the laundry, vacuum, or switch sides of the bed with me six times throughout the night. I love that I can never stay mad at him for too long, no matter how hard I try, because he always either does something nice or makes me laugh. 

He really is the best. Anyone that can put up with as much sassiness, tears, and bad jokes as he does from me is someone special, and I'm glad I snatched up a good one before someone else did. Love you, B.

 
 

Friday again??

in

It seems like just yesterday I was complaining about having to go back to work, and  now here I am, three weeks done already. The last few weeks have been a little busy, which is normal for us, but also so fun! Brandon went to New Orleans for the first few days but since he got home we have been trying to soak up the last little bit of summer before the cooler weather starts to hit. We went to Aggie Night at the Bee's baseball game, went to a balloon launch and the glow later that night, made smores, and went for a nice little walk around the lake in Daybreak last night. It's finally not blazing hot, so I can actually stand to go outside at night for longer than five minutes, thankfully. I have been so tired lately, and I feel like all I want to do after work is lay around and then just go to bed at like 8:30, so I'm grateful for the nights that we can venture outside!

We also have been busy busy busy getting the babe's room ready for him! The crib and dresser were set up before the end of July, but since then we have bought some art for his walls, a changing pad, and an 8 cube shelf for his closet with some cute bins. I can't wait to stuff those bins full of toys. We already have a few books for him on the shelf, and I just am getting more and more excited every day. We're kind of in the home stretch now; third trimester, and Wednesday next week means we only have ten weeks left!  It's so crazy. All the teachers back at work keep telling me how cute my bump is, but I just am more excited to see how cute our little guy is. We don't have another appointment for a few weeks, but I know it will come quick with our busy schedule coming up. 

This weekend is our five year anniversary! I can't believe it has already been five years; where does the time go? We're celebrating by picking up the rocker for the nursery, probably Costa, and maybe a movie. My little brother is relocating to Logan on Sunday, so we're going to meet my family there and help him move in! Next weekend we have a wedding to go to, and the weekend after that my other brother is getting married (!!!) and honestly before we know it, it's going to be October. Life is crazy, but I can't wait for everything we have coming up!

 
 

Pregnancy//Body Confidence.

in ,

You know those days where none of your clothes seem to fit comfortably, and all you want to do is sit on the couch in your sweats and binge watch Netflix while eating your feelings because you're already fat so you might as well embrace it? That's today for me. 

Going back to work this week was rough, due to the fact that A: I had to get up and put real clothes on every day, and B: I couldn't just rewear the same dress day after day because I knew I wouldn't see anyone I know. Now I see people every day, and I think they'd recognize the same striped maternity dress if I wore it every day. So I went out shopping with Alycia last Monday, found a pair of maternity pants and a shirt, and kept them in the bag with the receipt in my drawer until today, when I tried them on for Brandon. And then I just ended up crying in the closet. The shirt was an iffy buy to begin with, and the pants...well the pants were too tight and too loose in all the wrong places, and let's just say that if I ever wanted to sit down in them, I should first offer a blindfold to the people around me. So yeah, I started crying, because I hate shopping to begin with, but trying to shop while pregnant is a complete joke. We returned the clothes to the store, then stopped in JcPenney, hoping to at least find something, but they don't even have a maternity section anymore! Not in store anyway, but I could always shop online, the kind lady informed me. Old Navy seems to have adopted this too. Let me ask you, who in their right mind thought that pregnant ladies would love nothing more than to take a shot in the dark and buy all their maternity clothes online? I mean yeah, that means I don't have to leave the house to do the actual shopping, but when the clothes come and don't fit well, then I actually do have to leave the house to return the clothes. So lose lose.

Anyway, we came home and I thought to myself "self, maybe your problem is that you aren't quite big enough to be trying to find maternity clothes. maybe we should try on some of your pre-pregnant pants and see if you can still clothes this with a hair tie." Talk about kicking a lady while she's already down...stupidest idea I've ever had. Of course they don't fit; I only have twelve weeks left until the actual baby is here. Maybe it's just that, like, everything is growing, so I don't actually notice that any one part of me is larger than it used to be because it all just is proportionally the same? I don't know.

People have loved seeing me at work because before summer I just had a bump that could have passed for sixteen slices of pizza, and now it looks like a legitimate baby bump, and they all tell me it's so cute. And sometimes I believe them, but not today. Today I just want to put on my standard soffe shorts and oversized Yankees t-shirt and nap on the couch all day. 

I knew this whole self esteem thing would be an issue during pregnancy; it was an issue before, so of course it would be an issue during. I tried to stay ahead of the game and buy some shorts and dresses that would work for a while, and they have so far, but there has been a slight touch of fall in the air this weekend, and I know I'm going to need pants and long sleeved shirts before too long. So for now, my fix to this whole issue is just to suck it up and keep shopping, because it might be the worst now, but eventually I'll find clothes that do fit, and it will all be worth it. And also I will let myself buy a Mrs. Fields cookie at the mall when I'm feeling sad because chocolate cures everything and also I don't care.

So instead of cute baby bump pictures today, here's a pictures of the nachos we made to make me feel a little happier.

 
 
 
 

side note: I have been the most emotional person every lately and cry at everything. Brandon spotted this Treasure Valley salsa at Wal-Mart today (we had it for the first time at the fair in Boise and it immediately was our favorite) and I about lost it. Shout out to Boise and its foods for knowing when I need comforting the most. 

Also, I'm definitely not looking for a boost in confidence after you read this post. Everyone has off days, and blogging is my way of venting about it, so don't feel bad for me! I just know I'm not the only one out there that feels this way, and maybe someone who is feeling this same way can laugh at me eating nachos and crying in the closet and it will make their day better. :)

Labor doesn't scare me.

in ,

Note: the picture has literally nothing to do with this post except for the fact that I'm still pregnant. Still celebrating baby #1.

So I went back to work yesterday, and not that my life is super stressful, but I forgot how much stress working can add sometimes! Add to that all the normal stressors, the fact that Brandon has been in New Orleans for the past few days (coming home tonight, yay!), and all these pregnancy things and basically you end up with a crazy person constantly on the brink of tears. AKA...me. Surprisingly though, I'm not stressed about like, being pregnant and having the baby. I'm more stressed about the next thirteen weeks going by so quickly, and also the fact that soon enough, it's going to be cold and I won't be able to wear dresses anymore, and I really don't want to go spend money on maternity clothes. Mostly that one. I'm stressed about all these little, silly things, but not the big stuff, like I feel I should be.

I went to dinner with a friend last night, and we started talking about labor, and I really am just not scared, for some reason. I think it's because from the very start, I have been constantly reassuring myself that women do this all the time, and my body will know what to do, so I have felt a lot of peace that it's just going to be...well, not great, but manageable, you know? 

On a separate, but related note, last night I was brushing my teeth and noticed a section of my gums is receding pretty badly. About four years ago, I got my wisdom teeth out and had a tissue graft for a receding gum line at the same time. Now, the gums right next to the grafted section are receding, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need another graft soon.

Here's where the two thoughts are related: labor doesn't make me nervous in the least, but at the thought of another tissue graft, I started crying. I hate hate hate oral surgery. It has been the bane of my existence for as long as I can remember, so bad that just thinking about it makes me cry, apparently. So then I'm trying to think about when I could even have the surgery, and I have literally no time, so then from there, the thoughts just spiral out of control (like they would for any normal, crazy person) and either my teeth all fall out, or I have to get the surgery after we have the baby and I'm unable to properly take care of our child for like, a day and a half, and he grows up to resent me forever. All likely, right?

I just think it's so interesting how we all have things that freak us out, or make us worry or panic. Don't get me wrong, labor is not going to be fun, and when I'm there I probably will be terrified, but I think it's so strange/hilarious that the thought of a tissue graft scares me so badly. This was basically just a word vomit post, but I have had a lot on my mind lately, and this was probably the least heavy thing I felt I could blog about. Also, I haven't blogged since I wrote up all the vacation posts that are still rolling out (almost done, bear with me) and I have really missed writing. Hope that's okay.

Baby update.

in ,

Alright people. I just finished typing up a blog post for each of our vacation days, and they'll slowly roll out over the next couple weeks. I was going to try and combine days, but there were just too many things that I wanted to remember, so each day ended up having it's own post. Sorry in advance for all the words! It really was such a fun trip, but it is nice to be home, and even nicer being home and having Brandon back! I was in such a good mood when we came home from work last night that I don't think he quite knew what to do with me. And it feels good to sort of have a purpose again. I'm not working right now, and with him gone I didn't feel like there was any point to cooking or cleaning, and for some weird reason it feels good to do those things again! It must be the nesting side of me.

Tomorrow we'll hit week 25 of the pregnancy! My favorite thing has definitely been having Brandon home so that he can feel the baby moving! The day he left for California, he got to feel him move for the first time. It was small, but still so special. Then, when I was in Logan visiting family, I felt the babe kick really hard for the first time, and was so excited for Brandon to come back so he could feel it too! He (the baby) moves really consistently every night when we lay down for bed. Also when I eat ice cream, which honestly has not been that much throughout the pregnancy. The week of my birthday, the week before we found out we were pregnant, I had ice cream like four or five times, and since then I haven't really wanted it. I think I've had ice cream maybe five or six times since then, and usually it's because Brandon's guilts me into eating some with him haha. It's so weird! Honestly, all growing up I just imagined that I would get super fat when I got pregnant, because I already love eating anyway, and eating for two sounds like the perfect excuse, but I haven't really been much hungrier than I was before. I think it was hard on vacation, because it was hot that I almost didn't want to eat. But my cravings for salty, processed potatoes hasn't gone away. We've moved on from tater tots to french fries though. And also, sweet potato fries. Those are my very favorite right now!

Besides a tiny bit of sickness on the second half of the trip, I have been feeling great. I'm actually really surprised at how well DC was, because I thought being five months pregnant would make vacationing a little harder. Brandon said, if anything, he feels like the pregnancy has given me more energy. I don't know if he meant that as a good thing or bad thing haha. 

We have our next appointment in two weeks, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to take the glucose test then, so I'm not really looking forward to it, but mostly because I'll have to get my blood drawn again and I hate that. 

Some people from Lewis and Clark (my old place of work that I miss so much!) had asked for bump pictures occasionally. Until recently, I hadn't felt like there was much of a "bump," just like, maybe a large pizza or seventeen tacos stuffed into my stomach. I finally am feeling the bump though, and even had a few people offer me a seat on the subway because I actually looked pregnant. Anyway, I'm not really the kind of person to take belly pictures for the sake of belly pictures because, let's be honest, no one needs to be subjected to that, but here are a few pictures from the vacation that kind of show off the belly. I figure I should document this pregnancy at least a little bit.

side note: the pictures from vacation make me look bigger than I actually am. the one in the white shirt, my back is arched, and the others are due to heat, and eating out. not that it matters. the bigger, the better, right?

The weird thing is, unless I am really full from eating or have to go to the bathroom, he sits super low, like in the first picture. The pictures from vacation really aren't that accurate, because now, after having been home a few days and going back to a regular sleep and eating schedule, I'm not as bloated as I was on vacation. But the pictures are still fun to look at and see what I will look like here in a few weeks!