Today is my son’s first birthday. I don’t know how many times I am going to say that today, but I have a feeling it will be a lot.
It blows my mind how quickly this year has passed. I remember thinking that my pregnancy went quickly, but I had no idea that the year following would go even faster. The first three...
Read MoreI posted this last year, two weeks after Carter was born, six years to the day that Brandon and I had officially been together (that last part wasn't intentional). We wanted to share his story again, because it matters to us. He is our son. Today, on his first birthday, we are remembering the day we finally got to meet him, and the day we had to say goodbye...
Read MoreI wrote this letter to Carter a few days before we buried him. My dad read it out loud at the service, and then the letter was left at the cemetery with him. I tried to sum up our 39 weeks together in one simple letter, but there are not enough words to justify how much that time...
Read MoreToday, a year from the worst day of my life, I can still tell you that miracles exist. I don't know how I can say that, given what Brandon and I have been through, but I can. I believe it with all my heart. Bad things happen to good people. Maybe the good people don't the miracles they deserve, but I think part of that miracle is that the good people can still believe in things like...
Read MoreI don't have an indestructible heart.
Over the course of my life, my heart has been hurt many times, and it has taken a lot for me to make it stronger and be okay.
Last year, my heart was shattered. It cannot be repaired.
Maybe a better title for this prompt would be indestructible soul. Or maybe "how I learned to live while operating at a constant 1% of my usual gusto."
I don't have an indestructible heart. I don't even have an indestructible will to live without my babies. But I have an indestructible love for them,
This prompt is the reason we started vlogging. Not because we read this and decided we should do it, but because looking back, there are so many moments we wish we would have captured on camera. We feel like we are at a very pivotal point in our life where things could go so many different ways, and we wanted to start documenting it all a little more than just in...
Read MoreBrandon and I are so grateful for everything people have done for us since we lost Carter. Kind words, little gifts, pictures of airplanes spotted at random places....they are each enough to keep us going for one more day. Every little thing that people do lets us know that we, and are babies, are not forgotten. That even though our life may outwardly appear to be the same as it...
Read MoreAnother Sunday Tribe Circle post, but this one goes out to a different sort of family we acquired after we lost Carter.
Certain things in life will bond you to people forever, and losing a child is one of those things. We had to switch doctors about halfway through our pregnancy with Carter, and now, I can't...
Read MoreI have been trying to write this post for like, three weeks now, and I honestly don't know what to say for it. Dr. Teal's Soothe and Nourish is my favorite bubble bath, and I have been taking a lot of baths lately. I have also been taking a lot of time off work to nourish my soul, and I feel like it has done good things for me. I guess the point of this prompt would be to take care of...
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